


let me write (about all the ways i love you)

by realoqy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfiction, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Late Night Writing, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Secret Crush, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:00:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29893911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realoqy/pseuds/realoqy
Summary: When Dream opened his P. O. box, he expected to open letters and packages of cool art of himself and his friends along with other handmade trinkets to put up in his glorified room dedicated for these fanmade treasures.However, what Dream didn’t expect was getting a printed out hardcover book, filled with erotic fantasies shipping him with one of his friends whom he made content with, George. Of course, these fanfictions being written is something that didn’t surprise Dream, hell, he had to come out and say that he was perfectly fine with it, but having a book made specifically for him to read was out of the ordinary. But despite the peculiarities of it, Dream read the book which was unexpectedly enjoyable and interesting.That would be possibly the worst mistake of his life because here Dream was, awake in the middle of the night, with Google Docs open on one monitor and Archive of Our Own on the other, writing and reading fanfiction between himself and one of his best friends. Disgraceful to say the least, but what will Dream do when George finds out?inspired by the comic on tappytoon called “hyung, you’re my idol!”
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 63





	1. Manila Envelopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream gets sent a book in his P. O. box which isn't quite what he expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hihi this is one of the stories i write at an impulse,, not expecting much to come out of it  
> before we get started, for plot convenience dream and sapnap live in dream’s house, not the shared airbnb they have pff  
> if anyone featured in this story say they are uncomfortable with being in fanfiction, i will not hesitate to take this fic down and my other works as well  
> i should also add on that i only ship the online personas of dnf and not them as actual people.
> 
> enjoy !!

In front of Dream was an assortment of packages all ranging in different sizes with baskets filled with letters and manila envelopes scattered all around the floor. Where to start was always a predicament for the man, but seeing all of this mail gave Dream a sense of happiness and comfort. In some way to him, it represented all the support his fans gave to him every single day.

“How are you even able to open all of this?” someone said while the door behind Dream opened. It was Sapnap who helped him get all of this mail from the post office down to his house for the first few hours that day.

“When I open fanmail, time just passes by to be honest,” Dream smiled, walking over to one of the baskets with letters and manila envelopes, taking out a simple white letter envelope that had a little smiley face drawn in the bottom left corner. “See this? It’s little details like these that can make things worthwhile.”

Sapnap walked closer to Dream to get a better look at the drawing that was on the envelope. “That’s cute.”

“And there’s also all the art people send me and other fun handmade items and all the kind words in the letters sent with them,” Dream thought out loud. “I can see all the time and effort people put into them and it makes me so happy. I love our fans.”

The other gave a hum of agreement while reaching into the basket taking out a manila envelope that was unexpectedly heavy. “What’s this?”

“‘Dunno. Open it?” Dream asked while setting the envelope he was just opening to the makeshift fold-able table up against the wall.

The doorbell then rang, in which the two looked straight towards the opened door to this room.

“I think that’s our food, I’ll go get it,” Sapnap said, giving the heavy manila envelope to Dream and proceeding to exit the room out towards the front door of the house.

“Okay, I’m starving so hurry up,” Dream gave a small chuckle, then looking down on the half opened envelope that Sapnap handed to him.

Finally ripping the flap of the envelope and sliding the contents of it onto his hand, Dream was surprised to get a medium sized hardcover book along with a folded envelope. The cover of the book was just a simple green which was of course the color that Dream was known for. It had a darker green threading in a braided pattern on its bind but yet the front didn’t read what the book was about.

Dream felt his face shift due to the mysteriousness of the book. Unfolding the letter that came with the envelope out of confusion, it looked like it was printed because of its simple font. It read the following:

_Hey Dream!_

_We decided to send you this book. I know you might be a bit confused over what exactly it is, but I advise that you open it and read its contents! I promise you will enjoy it! :)_

_Sincerely, your biggest fans!_

_PS: Don’t return this back to us! This is for you and you only. <3 _

Dream raised an eyebrow because of the odd letter as it was something that he typically received via P. O. box, but he set it to the side along with the empty manila envelope and opened the hardcover book.

The first page was just a standard table contents page with a quite good amount of chapters along with the pages that they all started on. But still, no title.

Dream gave a sigh while realizing that he still had no idea what the book was about, he continued to flip through the pages of the book. Eventually, Dream found the start of Chapter One and started to read it.

_“George, did I do something wrong?” Dream panted._

At the mention of his name, Dream dropped the book onto the floor and covered his face with his hand. He felt his body tense up and take a step back up against a cardboard box after doing so, then eyeing the book with deep concern and fear.

“There’s no way that’s fanfiction, right?” Dream muttered to himself, then bending down to pick up the book. Hopefully it was just a monologue from a lore stream adapted to book form, right? Those words however have never came out from his mouth on stream as far as he was aware. But, there was no way one of his fans would be so indecent to send him actual fanfiction.

Though, there was no way that Dream should be surprised. He has said that he’s okay with fanfiction, NSFW ones as well matter of fact. But to think that someone would make a hardcover book and send it to him to read, safe for work or not, was incredibly weird to say the least but disgusting at most.

Picking up the book and getting a grip on the hardcover again, Dream flipped to the starting page of Chapter One: where he left off.

_“No, you’re doing everything right,” George whispered into his ears._

Dream gasped, closing the book shut for a second time. Not only did it seem it was actual fanfiction, it looked to be an erotic one. No, it was _definitely_ an erotic one. Opening it for another time, he quickly skimmed through the first page and that proved to be the case.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Dream said in shock, looking to the other packages to distract himself from the horrorific literature that he was holding. Biting his tongue distastefully, Dream wondered why sending him such a book would be something that would actually happen amongst his fans. Hell, to even think about it meant they didn’t actually care for him. They aren’t even fans in the first place then, right?

“Got the food!” Sapnap announced cheerfully, showing the bag of fried chicken along with the drink holder to Dream. “I’ll go set this at the kitchen and wash my hands, who knows all the germs that are on these packages.”

Dream gave a sigh of relief and closed the book, setting it to the table on top of the manila envelope and folded piece of paper that came with it. Thankfully, Sapnap broke the train of thought he had just now. “Sounds good.”

Following Sapnap to the kitchen, Dream thought to himself. _I’ll just put that book somewhere I won’t remember and never think about it or try to read it again._

But oh no, how wrong he would be.

* * *

“You guys opened fanmail all day today?” someone asked while Dream was in voice chat later that day.. It was George, one of Dream’s friends and whom he also made content with.

Scratching his head, Dream spoke into his mic. “Yeah, we couldn’t open everything today so we’ll be doing that for the next couple of weeks.”

“What we did open was pretty cool though,” Sapnap chimed in. “I can’t believe how talented all our fans are… It’s insane.”

“Maybe one day I’ll be able to open fanmail with you guys,” George groaned. You could hear him leaning back in his chair. “Can this pandemic leave already? I’m so tired.”

“We all want it to end George,” Dream said, leaning his head on his right hand and the left patiently tapping on his keyboard. The gray light of Discord’s window shined faintly on him drowning Dream in a state of deja vu. When the three of them were off stream, no one to clip every word they say and every little thing they do, speaking to each other can be as simple as this with pauses of silence every now and then.

The three’s icons in the voice channel sat, no green circle encompassing them for the next few seconds. George’s icon then lit up with the sound of him taking a breath, causing Dream to look straight at his monitor again.

“What’s wrong?” he asked at instant, his fingers on his keyboard refraining from typing on the keys.

“Oh, nothing,” George said, a small sigh followed. “I was about to ask what exactly you got in the packages.”

Just when Dream was about to answer the other’s question, “There was a ton of fanart, paintings, bracelets, figurines, knitted plushies,” Sapnap listed. “Oh yeah Dream, what was in that one heavy manila envelope?”

“What do you mean heavy manila envelope?” the question flew by his head, prompting Dream to fix his posture and think. His eyes widened and mouth opened when he remembered the extremely ominous green hardcover book with no title, currently resting in the room filled with the mail yet to be opened. “Are you sure you guys want to know?”

“Now that you say that, I want to know,” expressed George.

“Same here,” Sapnap agreed. “It can’t be that bad, right?”

“No,” Dream blurted. “It really is that bad. I’m not even kidding.”

“You’re exaggerating it,” George laughed. “Just tell us.”

Dream just sat in his chair, the voices of the other two becoming blurred in his mind. Whatever happened earlier that day felt like a fever dream to him, and he didn’t want to be reminded of it. But the persistence of George and Sapnap seemed imminent, and all that Dream could do was give in to their wishes before it’s all they talked about in private and on live.

“I’ll go get it from downstairs,” he finally complied, taking off his headset. He could faintly hear George’s cheering from it and Sapnap’s downstairs as well.

_All the stupid shit I do for these two._

* * *

“I think I should read the letter that came with it,” Dream said. He came back to his PC setup with all of the contents of the manila envelope.

“Just read it already,” George demanded which was met with a hum of agreement from Sapnap.

“You’re so stupid,” he teased while unfolding the folded piece of paper that was the letter. Clearing his throat, Dream read it. “ _Hey Dream! We decided to send you this book. I know you might be a bit confused over what exactly it is, but I advise that you open it and read its contents! I promise you will enjoy it! Sincerely, your biggest fans!_ And they also added that I can’t mail this back to whoever these ‘fans’ are.”

“Open the book..?” Sapnap requested with a hint of eagerness.

“It doesn’t have a title,” Dream folded the letter for a final time and set it to the side. Opening the book and flipping through the blank pages onto the first chapter, he grunted. “I don’t even want to think about the possibilities of what the title could be.”

“Dream, you’re not being specific of what it’s about,” George grumbled. “Do you not want to say because it’s fanfiction? We literally read some out loud before.”

He set the book on his desk, laid out with the first chapter open and sighed. “It’s fanfiction… NSFW fanfiction. Sent to me in a physical form.”

“What?” George and Sapnap shrieked in unison.

“Are you sure you want me to read it out loud?” Dream laughed.

“I mean, if you want to,” Sapnap answered.

The sound of someone joining the VC then boomed in Dream’s ears. Looking in the voice channel, listed was himself, George, Sapnap, and now Quackity.

“We’ve literally been waiting for you two to join VC?!” he jokingly scolded. Dream quickly opened Twitch to check if Quackity was live, and that proved to be the case. “Everyone’s already in the group chat call.”

“Oh wait, I almost forgot we have to play Jackbox,” George said. “Maybe later you can read it to us, Dream.”

“There’s no free spaces?” Sapnap asked.

“No, it’s a stacked lobby today,” Quackity shrugged. “Dream, you should’ve responded to my DM earlier.”

Dream just gave a small chuckle. “Sorry, I was busy today.”

“ _Sorry, I was busy today,_ ” mocked Quackity. “Dream, when are you _never_ busy?”

“Oh whatever,” he rolled his eyes. “You guys can have fun playing Jackbox though, I’ll sit out today.”

The voice channel was then followed by three sounds of the three other users leaving the voice channel, almost in sync, which was then followed by Dream leaving it as well.

_Now what?_

Now, Dream would try to occupy himself with something to do. He could go and watch the Jackbox stream and watch as his friends have fun without him, scroll through Twitter, mess around on Minecraft, open fanmail, nap, or just do nothing at all.

However, nothing sounded appealing to Dream at that moment. Watching the stream would just be sad and embarrassing for himself, Twitter is a scary place, there was nothing for him to try out on Minecraft, he was too exhausted to head downstairs for a second time, napping wasn’t favorable for him at that time, and doing nothing at all is just boring.

Looking around his current surroundings, Dream thought to himself and thought about other things he could other than the first few choices that always pop up on his mind. His monitors had no contents other than a Discord window and a Google Chrome window with Twitch open, which was quickly closed after realization. There was no point in having them open any longer.

Seen from his current vision, the only things that can be seen from his desk was his keyboard, mouse, and mousepad to go along with it. There wasn't any trash on it as he cleaned it recently.

Taking a small breath, Dream realized the only thing left on his desk was the green hardcover book filled with fantasies of who knows what. Thinking about the book gave him for the most part an unpleasant feeling, but a part of him was curious. What exactly was in the book?

Leaning back in his chair, Dream released the small breath he took. It seemed that the nuisance would be the only thing that would keep himself occupied due to the curiosity in the background of his brain.

_But really, what could go wrong? It’s not wrong if I read it, I’ve read fanfiction multiple times before. Out loud even!_

Taking off his headset and turning off his PC, Dream took hold of the book once more. Standing up, off to his room he would go and try to satisfy his curiosity after one chapter, and that would be enough. _Hopefully._

* * *

Laying down in his bed, Dream turned on his bedside table lamp, a faint warm glow filling the dark room. Stacking pillows on top of each other to make a comfortable rest for his back and laying his blanket on top of his lap, it was now time to read the mysterious book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh yeah i don’t know what i’m doing but i hope you enjoyed  
> next chapter soon i guess i dont know when but soon !!


	2. Seas of Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream goes online and explores the world of fanfiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello !! new chapter :D  
> hope you enjoy !!

_ That’s the end of it? _

Dream was spreaded out across his bed, the pillows used to make the pillow stack made to rest his back all over it. By then, he was laying down, a hand shielding his eye from nonexistent light and the other holding onto the book, flipped to its last page.

_ That was too real. Way too real. _

He was only planning to read one chapter,  _ only  _ one chapter, but that plan slipped his mind by the time Dream flipped to chapter two. It was too exciting, too inducing, too  _ lustful _ , there was no way that he would be able to put down the book. That’s not even to mention the ever so growing curiosity growing with every word he read: Dream wanted to see the outcome, and that’s what he did.

The writing felt like things he would actually do and the reactions that he would get from said actions. The dialogue was also beautiful, the writer must’ve perfected their craft before sending the book to Dream. He could feel the libido, the excitement, the  _ passion _ . It felt like he was dreaming, or it was a memory, or it was theoretically happening in the room where he rests in.

Getting himself out of bed, Dream grabbed his phone and opened it to see the time. It was midnight, or 12:04 am to be exact.  _ I was reading it for five hours straight? _

Thinking back to when he shut off his PC, it was about seven in the evening. Dream expected himself to be back in there, maybe bother the people partaking in Jackbox, after finishing the first chapter in about maybe 20 minutes. But no, Dream was putting his full attention on the green hardcover book for five hours. It was astonishing to say the least as being able to read a book in this busy life of his was something that he tried before, but it seemed to be impossible. Dream just assumed it was because he can’t focus on things for a longtime, but the book proved otherwise.

Opening his phone properly and going into Twitter, it seemed that today was a stream train. Sapnap was live at the moment, playing a game he didn’t bother to learn more about. Perhaps Dream should join them and help them with whatever they’re doing, but his curiosity still wasn’t satisfied. It was hungry for more. The reason? Dream couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.

Closing the bedside lamp and exiting his room, Dream realized that the book in his hand made him feel many things. Curious. Amusing. Yearning. These conflicting emotions made his heart ache for more.

Opening the door to the room where his PC sat, Dream realized that online is where maybe one of those emotions could be solved: his ever so growing curiosity. Would the book be the only piece of literature that can keep him hooked for five hours straight, or has he yet to explore the world of fanfiction even more?

What Dream read with George and Sapnap was barely scratching the surface of this said world and from what he could remember, it wasn’t all too interesting. Only thing that made him continue to read it was the funny voices Sapnap would do when reading dialogue and George’s dumb comments on how wrong the writers would write their characters. Plus, Dream wasn’t even listening to the plotline all that much. But now, it finally hit that he could’ve been missing out on good writing because of his prior disinterest.

_ I should reread what we read out loud. _

Turning on his PC for yet another time, Dream took hold of his mouse and slid it around his desk, finally opening up Google Chrome. Clicking on the search bar, he typed in words that he never thought he would type at will before that day: “archive of our own.”

What he read later that night would be memories that Dream swore to himself that he will never speak of to  _ anyone. _

* * *

“Dream?” a familiar voice asked while knocking on the door.

“Hm?” he grabbed his mouse and hid the Google Chrome page immediately. Taking a glance at the time in the bottom right corner of his monitor after what seemed to be hours, the clock read 2:27 am. “Sapnap?”

Opening the door, who he called for stood there. “You were awake the whole time? How come you didn’t join the stream?”

“Didn’t you have a full lobby?” Dream queried, positioning his chair to face the door to the room.

“I mean yeah we did, but Quackity raided me after the Jackbox stream, you could have joined us y’know,” the other explained.

“Oh,” he remarked plainly.

“What were you even doing anyways?”

Dream felt the back of his head start to ring, which resounded all throughout his body. Stunned by the question, he moved his chair to face his monitors again so that he wouldn’t have to face the shame of Sapnap looking right at him, innocent to what Dream indulged himself in a couple hours prior.  _ How am I supposed to answer that? _

“...I was watching your stream,” he lied. His face felt numb.

“Oh,” the other noted. “Chat would’ve been asking you to join if they saw you in chat, but I guess I had it closed when they realized.”

“I felt like if I asked to join I would be too much of a bother,” Dream explained. Though it was made to cover up for the lie he just made, at some points it felt true to him.

“Don’t feel that way, you’re always welcome to join my streams,” Sapnap effused. You could hear him turning his back with the sudden change of volume of his voice. “I’ll be heading off to bed.”

“Okay, rest well,” the other bidded goodnight, and off Sapnap went.

Opening back the Google Chrome tab, Dream felt a sense of guilt. Not the type of guilt that it consumes your whole being, but just enough to make him sit and reflect. Did he really just lie to his best friend of nine years over something as stupid as  _ fanfiction?  _ He should be able to read into such literature without regret, but yet it felt so wrong.

  
  


_ But why? _

* * *

Dream felt like the world was weighing on him when he woke up.

Opening his eyes ever so slightly, Dream found his head laying on the cushioning of his arms which was sat upon his keyboard. There were sleep lines imprinted onto his arm in the shape of the keys on his keyboard. After unfolding the mess of the position he slept in, Dream heard the sounds of his neck and back cracking when stretching about.

Yawning while rubbing his eyes, Dream’s vision finally cleared. Google Chrome was still open on his PC with the chapter of whatever work he read before passing out. The plotline was blurry in his memory; he would have to reread it from the very start later today.

Looking at the time in the corner of his screen, it read 12:40 pm. Dream realized he was asleep for almost eight hours straight, not moving an inch.

“What? Okay…” he drawled while hiding the Google Chrome tab. He would have to carry on and start the day as per usual despite the ongoings of his late night indulgences the night before.

Discord was lively as typical. The merch server was doing fine, people were talking in voice channels in the private Dream SMP Discord server, probably streaming lore or just doing their routine shenanigans. Seeing these two communities being so lively and welcoming made Dream feel proud as he nurtured these spaces into what it is today. It was truly his biggest accomplishment.

While blindly skipping through all of his alerts, Dream sighed. It was tedious, but it was necessary. On that day there was nothing of any concern that needed to be brought to his immediate attention. There was also no stream or recording plans of any sort, so he expected to take things slow.

Just as soon as he was about to close out of the Discord tab, the sound of someone sending Dream a direct message played. His eyes shot right to the left side of the screen to check who sent him the DM.

It was George.

Like the night before after Sapnap left his room, a sense of guilt filled Dream, except it was tenfold. It felt like waves upon waves of water ran him down to the ground, muddy sand covering his legs and his clothes damp. The feeling was not fond at all.

Carefully clicking on George’s profile picture, the DM read:  _ wanna call? _

Remembering all that Dream read, he couldn’t bring himself to accept George’s request as much as he wanted too. It would be too embarrassing, too idiotic, too mortifying.

_ busy rn, sorry :( _

When he pressed enter on his keyboard, Dream felt like he was drowning in the sea of guilt he made for himself.

Minimizing the Discord window out of shame, Dream skimmed through his taskbar. What was open appeared on the right end: Discord and Google Chrome. Maximizing the Google Chrome tab, he was met again with a chapter of a work he didn’t remember anything of. 

He ignored a sound of another DM being delivered to him. It would be too distressing to see George’s response despite it most likely being innocent in nature.

Taking hold of his mouse and scrolling up, Dream opened the chapter menu and started to reread it from the very beginning to distract himself.

_ I need to come back down to Earth. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, new chapter will be out soon <3


End file.
